Biohacker Bryan Johnson details own intimate 'semen microplastics' report with 'never seen before' score

Bryan Johnson continues to raise eyebrows, with the self-confessed man who wants to live forever seemingly trying to reach his goals via several weird and wonderful methods.

Making a name for himself as the chairman and CEO of Braintree, Bryan Johnson's profile in the tech industry rose when Venmo was acquired for $26.2 million in 2012.

Johnson's profile then rose as the founder and former CEO of Kernel, but these days, he's known more for his Project Blueprint protocol that focuses on longevity. Considered something of a Willy Wonka of the health industry, Johnson isn't afraid to delve deep into his private life as he's accused of suffering from a serious case of TMI.

Johnson thinks we'll have reached human immortality by 2039, while he has grand plans to live until the last Bitcoin halving in 2140, making him 163 when he'll supposedly shuffle off this mortal coil.

While reportedly spending $2 million a year in hopes of reaching his 163rd birthday, Johnson has already become something of a controversial figure for injecting his son's plasma, measuring his and his son's erection data, and making an 'unhinged' post about his girlfriend's vagina.

Kate can sigh a sigh of relief, because once again, we're returning to Bryan's junk. Having previously given us handy hints for icing our balls before taking a sauna and sharing the results of his little swimmers' motility, the biohacker has returned with another set of impressive results.

Johnson has already spoken out on the dangers of microplastics, wildly claiming that drinking from glass bottles could be worse, and also maintaining that he's managed to detox 85% of plastic toxins from his body.

Taking to X, Johnson's latest W includes him boasting that he has no microplastics in his testicles. Proudly sharing his results, the 48-year-old cheered: "🚨 I HAVE NO MICROPLASTICS IN MY BALLS 🚨 This should not be possible."

Patting himself on the back as something of a medical marvel, Johnson explained that studies suggest all men will show some signs of microplastics in their semen, suggesting that he's the only one in the world who doesn't.

Issues with microplastics in sperm include affecting how they swim, potential abnormalities in terms of shape, the actual sperm count, and more.

Source of microplastics in your balls pic.twitter.com/waUINJUtan

— Why (@BuckeyeFanatic0) May 7, 2026

Not just an issue for people trying to get pregnant, Johnson reiterated: "Sperm count is one of the cleanest biomarkers of overall health we have. And microplastics don't stop at the testes. The same particles are showing up everywhere we look.

"Studies show 4.5x higher rate of heart attack, stroke, and death in people with microplastics in their arterial plaque vs. those without. Microplastics were also found in 100% of human placentas tested."

In terms of how Johnson supposedly became the only man in the world to rid his semen of microplastics, he put it down to dry saunas, a reverse osmosis water filter, and removing the likes of plastic cutting boards and plastic food containers from his life.

Johnson says that this three-pronged approach helped him secure these impressive results, but as you can imagine, most in the comments mocked him.

Referring back to the post about his and Kate's sex life, one person wrote: "Your lady has 100% perfect vagina and you have 100% perfect balls...I DONT BELIEVE YOU!"

Another added: "Dude, zero plastic in your semen? That’s not a world-first—it’s just you being the only one who tried to filter their own testicles."

A third chuckled: "Bryan is gonna end up being one of few people being written about 500 years from now just purely from his X posts."

Is Byran Johnson really some plastic-free miracle, or do we simply need to do more research?