Tinder relationship expert warns about concerning rise of 'Shrekking' among Gen Z daters

To put it politely, dating in 2026 is something of a minefield. If we didn't already spend enough time scrolling on our phones, we then turn to devices in hopes that our ideal match is just a swipe away.

There’s continued pressure to find that perfect someone or risk spending our years alone, but we’d argue, what’s so bad about being single? We've come a long way from the older ways our parents used to 'court', and back in the day, you simply had to turn up at the local cinema and hope your date would turn up on time.

Of course, the evolution of dating apps has led to very different problems.

As well as fears that you're dating an AI instead of a real person on Tinder, terms like 'ghosting', 'benching', and 'breadcrumbing' are all something you need to quickly learn.

What is Shrekking?

Making us feel older than ever, the notion of 'Shrekking' has also taken off among Gen Z daters. In case being named after a green ogre wasn't a clue, it's not exactly the most pleasant bandwagon to jump on.

For those who don't know, Shrekking is the idea that you settle for an 'ugly' person instead of holding out for that ideal match on dating apps.

Shrekkers are said to purposefully date below their perceived level of attractiveness in hopes that they'll be treated better than by your average f**kboy or f**kgirl who spends their time posing for selfies and strutting around as an influencer.

People boasting about lowering their standards to 'swamp level' in hopes of finding their happily ever after has raised some obvious concerns, especially as a middle finger to the perception of beauty being in the eye of the beholder.

Alongside Shrekking, getting 'Shrekked' has also come into the zeitgeist as it refers to those who think they've downgraded their dating but still been messed around.

Shrekking isn't just reduced to looks, but can also be applied to intelligence, someone’s job, and their financial security. If your partner perceives you as 'better' than them, are they really likely to treat you better?

What does Shrekking tell us about what Gen Z daters are looking for?

UNILADTech spoke to Tinder’s Resident Relationship Expert, with Devyn Simone explaining why Shrekking isn't all bad.

You might recognize the internationally renowned dating expert from her appearances on the likes of MTV's Real World: Brooklyn and The Challenge, as well as being the co-creator of TLC's Love at First Swipe.

Simone explains that while people playfully saying they're dating their Shrek might be viewed as unkind, it represents something much bigger: "I think what’s really going on is a mindset shift: people are learning that genuine connection, kindness and shared values often matter more than looks."

Citing Tinder's Future of Dating report, 79% of 4000 Gen Z daters surveyed prioritize loyalty, while 78% are looking for respect, and 61% seek open-mindedness. This is compared 56% putting looks first, with Simone adding, "There’s truth to the idea that people are looking beyond someone’s appearance, but not because they’re settling. They’re redefining what attraction means to them."

While we're not sure being branded a 'Shrek' is something you'll want to put in your Tinder bio, Simon says we take some positives from the message of this unsavory trend: "Basically, being real beats being perfect. So don’t be afraid to give someone you might have overlooked on first glance a second chance. You might just surprise yourself!”

With nearly three-quarters of 18-34 year olds apparently reiterating that authenticity is more important than ever, Simone says that people are now craving real connections instead of surface-level attraction: "In fact, we know that they’re increasingly attracted to partners who show up unfiltered. When you focus on who someone really is rather than simply how they look, you open the door to a deeper connection."

Even though this doesn't mean that attraction isn't completely disregarded by Gen Z daters in 2026, the bigger picture is that it's not the most important thing. As Simon herself reminds us: "Sometimes attraction builds when you feel emotionally connected."

At the end of the day, even if you think you're dating a Shrek, we probably wouldn't go around telling people that.