TikTok reveals how many calories you're really consuming if you 'swallow' semen

We're answering the questions you never thought you’d need to ask, or might be too embarrassed to. In this health-conscious era where some of us are tracking every calorie we put into our bodies (after all, they're temples), you might be wondering about the nutritional value of semen. Yes, you read that right.

Whether you go with technical terms like spermatozoa and seminal fluid, others might know it as jism, the white stuff, baby gravy, or any other number of colloquial terms. Semen has an obvious purpose in life to help further the human race, although we know that not every one of those little swimmers is used to fertilize an egg.

We recently found ourselves in a 'sticky' situation, covering simulations on what happens when you ingest sperm and what happens when it isn't ejaculated from the human body, but now, we're crunching the numbers on how many calories are in the average 'load'.

While semen doesn't have any real health benefits, TikTok creator Dan King has revealed whether you're inadvertently throwing off your daily calories. Questioning why MyFitnessPal has this information in the first place, King notes that one teaspoon has 20 calories.

This tracks with what WebMD suggests, although it suggests that it can range between 5 and 25 calories. Microsplastics being found in semen are among the reasons some might want to 'spit', although even those are likely to take in some semen. The online human encyclopaedia also states that semen contains a surprising number of nutrients, with a full list including:

• Calcium
• Citrate
• Fructose
• Glucose
• Lactic acid
• Magnesium
• Potassium
• Protein
• Zinc

Don't expect to be getting 'swole' if you're adding a spoonful of semen to your routine, as while some will joke about it being a 'protein shake', it's only a minuscule amount. There are just 5.04 grams of protein per 100 milliliters of fluid, and as the typical ejaculate is only up to five mililiters, the maximum protein you're getting is 0.25 grams. Put it this way, you'd have to consume a lot of semen to match the protein levels of your typical post-gym chicken breast.

King returns to the idea of the amount of protein in semen, saying that you'd need to consume a whopping 293 teaspoons of the sticky stuff to get 50g of protein. We hope you've already had your dinner, because this frankly stomach-churning thought also reveals that it's 5,860 calories.

That's the same calorific equivalent of 15 original glazed Krispy Kreme donuts (insert your own jokes about glazed donuts here).

Responding to King's video, one person joked: "Challenge accepted."

Another added: "It's self sustaining 🤑."

A third said: "Gonna add some to my next shake lads."

As WebMD reminds us, semen isn't exactly something the FDA is likely to be adding to its food pyramid, concluding: "Even though it’s made of many essential nutrients that you need in your daily diet, it isn’t a good nutritional source due to the small amount of semen produced in one ejaculation."

Also, remember that ingesting semen puts you at greater risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection.