An expert has revealed how to combat the ‘phubbing’ phenomenon as it has been found to cause issues in modern relationships.
Relationships of decades-gone-by never experienced ‘phubbing’, but it is becoming a real problem for couples of today.
This is down to the fact that we have become joined at the hip with our smartphone devices, often leading to people feeling ignored or pushed out.
What does phubbing mean?
The phenomenon of phubbing is when you regularly and intentionally ignore someone in favor of looking at your phone.
This is unfortunately on the rise, meaning that more and more couples are facing this issue with their significant other.
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What have the experts said about phubbing and how to fix it?
According to the experts, there can be harmful and emotional consequences to relationships due to phubbing.
Dr Claire Hart is the Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Southampton and also the co-author of a study involving 196 people about their relationships and phone use.
The overall results showed that the more you feel you’re being phubbed, the worse your relationship is likely to be.
Dr Hart said: “We know that everyone finds phubbing frustrating and annoying. It might seem trivial, but in relationships these small moments can mount up, creating a sense that your partner’s attention is elsewhere and that you’re less valued.”
She suggested: “Creating phone-free zones at mealtimes or before bed and discussing phone boundaries openly can help both partners feel respected.
“If you must check your phone, acknowledge the interruption, explain why and return your attention quickly.
“Simply put, put down your phone to pick up your relationship.”
What have other experts said about the phenomenon?
Dr Kaitlyn Regehr, who is the Associate Professor at University College London suggested to BBC’s Woman’s Hour that when you reach for your phone, you should announce to the other person why you’re doing it, and when you have finished using your phone for that purpose, put it down and re-engage with the person.
Whilst it may seem like a simple venture, Dr Regehr says that by simply naming what you are doing e.g. ‘I need to check my train times’ or ‘I’m replying to my mom’, you interrupt the automatic habit of checking your phone and it lets the other person know that they still matter to you. In other words: ‘It stops the other person feeling ignored’, as Dr Regehr puts it.