A man with 'sexual OCD' spoke out about the symptoms he lived with for eight years.
When most people think of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, they picture someone washing their hands repeatedly, checking locks multiple times, or arranging items in precise order.
These stereotypical images dominate public understanding of OCD, leading many to dismiss their own symptoms simply because they don't fit the expected mould.
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But OCD manifests in countless ways, some far less visible than others.
About 1 in 40 adults have OCD or will develop it at some point in their lives, the International OCD Foundation revealed. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, around 1.2% of U.S. adults had OCD in the past year with women (1.8%) being more likely to suffer from it than men (0.5%).
One particularly distressing subtype involves intrusive sexual thoughts that leave sufferers questioning their identity, morality and safety.
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Now, one man has broken that silence and bravely opened up about his OCD symptoms that he's lived with for over eight years. 32-year-old Martin shared his story to ABC Science on YouTube.
During his university years, Martin recalled 'not having any troubles'. He had a solid friendship group and fell in love for the first time.
"OCD is where you have intense obsessions about something and then you try to make those thoughts go away or try to feel better by doing compulsions," Martin explained. "You can get obsessed with anything."
He continued: "For me, it was sexual stuff. It was questions about who I am. Usually, like, negative questions." Martin found himself questioning whether he was 'dangerous' or born with something wrong in his brain that made him 'evil.'
"I had this weight that I was dragging around everywhere," he said.
However, after researching the symptoms of OCD, he felt he didn't fit the criteria for the diagnosis.
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"You read the description of OCD and you think, 'Well, I'm not doing any compulsions,'" he explained. "But trying to unthink a thought, negate a thought, trying to solve a thought, what we call rumination - those are all compulsions."
At age 23, Martin confessed that sexuality 'should be positive,' however, he 'attached fear' to it.
"I'd totally abandoned sex. I didn't masturbate for six years. There was a time I couldn't even touch my penis to go to the toilet," he admitted. Even after receiving an OCD diagnosis that confirmed his experiences fit the disorder, Martin said it 'didn't make the doubt go away.'
Fortunately, Martin mentioned that medication and therapy have helped him not to 'take his thoughts as seriously as he did.' Over time, Martin has developed better strategies for managing intrusive thoughts.
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"Thoughts are not threats. Feelings are not facts," he's learned to remind himself.
Beyond that, Martin discovered that opening up to friends and family has given his thoughts 'less power.' Although it was uncomfortable at first, Martin shared that it works. And as his experience shows, recovery is possible.