A biological anthropologist (who I suppose you could call an expert in love) has revealed the two biggest mistakes people are making when it comes to online dating.
According to a 2024 survey from Forbes Health, the top place to find dates was dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, with meeting through a friend coming second, and meeting at a social event like a concert coming in third.
And with around three in 10 American adults saying they've used a dating app or website, the virtual dating game doesn't appear to be slowing down any time soon.
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So, the apps are here to stay but you're feeling more tired with every date that goes by, right? Maybe you've been savagely ghosted after weeks of sending GIFs and memes or perhaps you've just been stood up the good old fashioned way and it's left you shouting on the sidewalk "what am I doing wrong?" like you're in an episode of Sex and the City.
Luckily Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist oozing with wisdom, sat down with WIRED to dish all the dirt on the modern dating game.
The question in the spotlight here focused on those pesky apps as one person wrote in saying 'dating apps aren't really doing it' for them.
You might be surprised to know that Dr. Fisher has positive feelings towards dating apps, she just thinks people are using them wrong.
Fisher says: "The first mistake people are making is they binge. The human brain is not built to deal with more than about five to nine options, after that the brain just spaces out and you choose nobody.
'So the first thing you have to do is after you've met nine people, you have to get off the internet and get to know at least one of these people better. The more you get to know somebody the better you tend to like them."
The second mistake Fisher says people are making is giving into their negativity bias. Rather, she wants you to 'think of reasons to say yes instead of no'.
Fisher explains that our brains are built to remember the negative, and when we meet new people we're naturally prone to 'overweight' these perceived negatives which ends up ruining potentially successful relationships.
Fisher says: "Think of reasons to say yes. I call it positive illusions — the ability to overlook what you don't like about somebody and focus on what you do".
So, next time you're feeling like all hope is lost in your dating game, take a step back and make sure you're utilising Dr. Fisher's tips.