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Dating expert warns of the dangers of 'breadcrumbing' when online dating

Home> Social Media

Published 16:15 27 Nov 2024 GMT

Dating expert warns of the dangers of 'breadcrumbing' when online dating

This new dating red flag can be harmful to encounter

Harry Boulton

Harry Boulton

The online dating world feels like a minefield for many at the moment, and the introduction of 'breadcrumbing' has posed a new form of danger.

Internet dating has been a thing ever since the days of dial-up, but the explosion of apps like Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and more have revolutionized the space - and many say for the worse.

Anyone who's active on the dating scene will tell you horror stories about being 'ghosted', 'gaslit', and more, and while handy techniques like avalanching and love hacking can help you find some success, you have to be wary about some dodgy behavior along the way.

Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps you can download today (Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
Tinder is one of the most popular dating apps you can download today (Jakub Porzycki/NurPhoto via Getty Images)

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One such behavior takes the form of what many are now calling 'breadcrumbing' - where the person you're talking to sends out signs of interest and flirtation, but holds no actual desire to form a relationship.

Perhaps the other side of the ghosting coin, instead of being left with no response you're constantly led on, and many consider this type of behavior to be manipulative and harmful to its recipients.

It's argued that this behavior comes from individuals who either want to assert emotional control over others, or want to unfairly create a dependence with another person, but both have no intention of forming anything long-term or even committal.

Thankfully Kelly Campbell, a professor of psychology at California State University, has revealed to Brides some tips that you can use to identify when you're being 'breadcrumbed' and why you should avoid these red flags.

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The first is that the person you're talking to is less invested in getting together than you are, whether that be meeting up in person or simply talking over the phone or video call.

Campbell explains that these people "make plans with you but cancel or don't show up, and they seem too busy for you," which is also reminiscent of catfishing behavior which you also need to be on the watch for.

Be wary of these dating red flags to avoid any 'breadcrumbers' (David Gray/AFP via Getty Images)
Be wary of these dating red flags to avoid any 'breadcrumbers' (David Gray/AFP via Getty Images)

On top of this, it can also often be confusion to know where you stand with a breadcrumber, as their behavior remains "sporadic, inconsistent, and unpredictable."

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If you can't get a sense whether the person you're talking to likes you or wants to be in a relationship - especially if you've been talking for a while - then it might be best to start looking elsewhere.

Another key behavior identified by Campbell is that these people will seem warm to you at some points, but then quickly turn cold. This can involve disengaged messaging, where they seem disinterested or simply stop replying for a while.

Finally, the last red flag comes if you're unable to explain or understand the actions of your breadcrumber, as Campbell relays: "You are often left confused or frustrated after interacting with them."

As difficult as it may be, the best thing you can do once you spot these actions is to simply stand up for yourself and put your own feelings first.

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"You deserve someone who is willing to give you the same amount of attention you are willing to invest," Campbell reveals, and you simply need to leave those breadcrumbs behind, because as the name suggestions - they're just crumbs after all.

Featured Image Credit: MementoJpeg / d3sign / Getty
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