Featured Image Credit: Universal Pictures
From Sonya Blade and Johnny Cage to Link and Princess Zelda, Nathan Drake and Elena Fisher to Geralt and Yennefer, all are iconic couples from the world of video games. However, they all pale in comparison to the golden couple that is Mario and Princess Peach.
That portly plumber has made a name for himself since he appeared as Jumpman in Donkey Kong, going on to become Nintendo's official mascot. Introduced in 1985's original Super Mario Bros. as Princess Toadstool, this character evolved into Princess Peach and fell a little too easily into the damsel in distress trope.
While Peach has undergone something of a reinvention to become more of a warrior princess and even lead her own female-first game in Princess Peach: Showtime!, she also showed she doesn't take any sh*t from any man when she jilted both Mario and Bowser at the end of Super Mario Odyssey.
The signs were already there, but apparently, Mario and Peach aren't the star-crossed lovers you might think.
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For those who were already annoyed that the Switch 2 has launched with a new Donkey Kong game instead of a follow-up to 2017's Super Mario Odyssey, Mario's torment at the hands of Nintendo is only just beginning.
An update on the Nintendo Today app has sent the internet into meltdown, defiantly reiterating: "Princess Peach and Mario are good friends and help each other out whenever they can."
Across Mario and Peach's video game history, we've seen them grow close as she's baked him cakes (Super Mario 64), been referred to as his special someone (Super Mario Galaxy), and they've been dubbed 'cutest couple' (Mario Party 5). They’re frequently used in Nintendo's Valentine's Day promo materials, but while canon is sometimes tricky, it should be noted that 1986's Super Mario Bros.: The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach! animated movie crushed Mario's hopes when it was revealed she had a boyfriend called Haru, the Prince of Flower-Koku.
There have been swirling theories that Peach's heart belongs to someone else, especially after Super Mario Sunshine had Bowser Jr. refer to her as 'Mama Peach' without anyone correcting it. Could the unexpected have happened and she shares a lovechild with her regular kidnapper, Bowser?
Over on Reddit, it wasn't just Mario's heart that was shattered. One gamer wrote: "I was lied to?! My childhood is in ruins! 🥺"
Another added: "It's the straight version of 'they were roommates' haha."
Someone else joked: "It's Luigi that's drilling peach. And Daisy. Canonically. Nintendo has confirmed it. What a stud."
A fourth concluded: "My favorite theory is Mario, Bowser, and Peach are in a polyamorous triad with a kidnapping and rescue kink."
It's true that there have been the odd pecks on the cheek from Peach over the years, but with her and Mario having never properly locked lips in 40 years, don't expect it to happen anytime soon.
With 'friendzone Mario' memes already taking over the internet, it sounds like it could be time for him to update his relationship status to 'It's complicated'.
