A man opens up about his online porn addiction and reveals the moment he realized he had a problem.
In a LADbible episode of Minutes With, Josh Lane courageously shared his story of battling a decade-long pornography addiction that left him feeling 'isolated and unlovable.'
Despite having what he describes as a good childhood, Lane's early exposure to pornography would take a dark turn and profoundly impact his life.
Lane's struggle began in childhood when he was first exposed to porn at age 12 and, within a year, he found himself hooked. At the peak of his addiction, Lane was admittedly watching porn two to three times daily for 'hours at a time.'
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What started with what he called 'vanilla' content quickly escalated to more 'taboo' material as his consumption increased.
"I tried to be sneaky, I guess, and make sure people wouldn't find out," he recalled, adding that the secrecy took a heavy toll on his ability to connect with others. "I think that led to a really deep impact on my relationships. I think it felt like the only real relationship I had was with porn," Lane explained.
He described his parents doing everything they could to support him, including installing blockers on his phone and providing 'helpful books' to read.
The moment Lane truly realized the severity of his problem came when he started going to desperate lengths to feed his addiction.
"I think I gave them my phone overnight," he said. "I just didn't have access to my phone [...] And this was another thing that made me realise I've got much more of a problem than I had thought."
Lane admitted having 'such a need to access porn' that he resorted to stealing other people's phones in his own home.
"I would just sneak around the house at night after everyone had gone to bed and take someone else's phone or device," he confessed. "I think it hit me what I was doing, like, you know, this is not behaviour that I'm proud of at all."
Looking back, Lane says he carries 'a lot of regret' about those years. "I think I missed out on a lot of the joy of your teenage years when it was just spent watching porn," he reflected.
Although he tried searching for an 'easy way out' of his addiction, he eventually came to accept there wasn't one. He describes himself as someone who will probably always be a 'recovering addict.'
Lane admitted that he's doing much better now and hasn't watched any porn videos in over a year. Now married, he says the last time he viewed porn was also the moment he felt most motivated he'd ever been to quit for good.