Microsoft buys more than $1,000,000,000 of excrement for bizarre purpose

It's a crap job, but someone has to do it. As one of the 'Big Five', Microsoft is a Goliath in the tech world. Known for its computers and gaming arms, Bill Gates and Paul Allen's baby has now ballooned to be worth a whopping $3.79 trillion.

Being known as one of the biggest companies in the world comes with plenty of hurdles to leap, and recently, Microsoft has found itself in the firing line. Notably, 9,000 workers recently lost their jobs, while at the same time, Microsoft announced an $80 billion investment into artificial intelligence.

More than just a slew of games being lost after years of development, Microsoft has been lambasted for the obvious firing of so many human workers.

As reported by Inc., Microsoft is trying to repair its somewhat tarnished reputation by offsetting its carbon emissions.

In a bizarre turn, this involves the purchase of 4.9 million metric tons of waste.

While you might imagine bodily functions would cost nothing to scoop up, this is said to come in at a jaw-dropping $1.7 billion.

Signing a deal with Vaulted Deep, the next 12 years will involve Microsoft removing waste that's sourced from manure, sewage, and agricultural byproducts. It will then be injected deep underground.

The bioslurry is a mix of farm and human waste, so who knows, your droppings could be part of the partnership.

The outlet explains how the current cost of CO2 removal is $350 per ton with the company, so crunching the numbers, Microsoft's contract should be worth that $1.7 billion.

It's important to note that neither side has discussed the terms of the deal, while Vaulted Deep CEO Julia Reichelstein claims costs will dip as time goes on.

This wouldn't be Microsoft's first time trying to give back to the planet, and in April 2025, it signed a deal with AtmosClear to offset 6.75 metric tons of carbon dioxide. Unlike that handshake, the VaultedDeep deal isn't trying to remove carbon dioxide from the air.

All of this is part of Microsoft's attempt to tackle its carbon footprint as it delves deeper into the world of AI. It's no secret that artificial intelligence is having a negative impact on the planet, with training one AI program for three weeks supposedly requiring more than 250,000 gallons of water.

Elsewhere, Microsoft is attempting to regrow former rainforests in Panama and collecting emissions from trash burning in Norway, then burying it under the North Sea in former oil wells.

Microsoft hopes to be carbon negative by 2030, also aiming to remove more greenhouse gases than it's pumped out since being formed by 2050.

Speaking to the Wall Street Journal, Reichelstein explained: "We’re taking different types of organic waste.

"It’s sludgy, often contaminated organic waste that today causes problems above ground, and instead we take the waste and put it really deep underground for permanent carbon removal."

Interestingly, one ton of carbon sequestered is said to equal the same a one carbon removal credit, meaning Microsoft should soon be well on the way to giving back to Mother Nature.