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Doctor warns of the dangers of 'phubbing' as a new study reveals the impact on relationships.
With technology always at our fingertips, it's no wonder it's reshaping how we connect with the people closest to us.
Health experts have already warned about the dangers of using devices in bed and common phone habits that are 'killing our brains.' But now researchers are warning about a different kind of harm - one that's quietly destroying relationships from the inside.
The habit in question is called 'phubbing' - a combination of the words 'phone' and 'snubbing' which describes what happens when someone gets distracted by their smartphone during face-to-face conversations.
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While this behaviour can pose a problem in any social setting, experts say it becomes particularly damaging in romantic relationships.
In 2023, a study in Applied Psychology Review found a clear connection between phubbing and 'significant negative impact on marital satisfaction.'
Now, a new study from the University of Southampton has revealed how different personality types respond to being phubbed.
The researchers focused on people with high attachment anxiety who fear abandonment and crave reassurance, and those with high attachment avoidance who feel uncomfortable with emotional closeness.
196 adults in relationships were asked to keep a 10-day diary, recording how often their partners phubbed them, their emotional reactions and how they responded.
The results were pretty eye-opening.
It found that people with high attachment anxiety showed much stronger negative reactions than emotionally secure individuals.
On days when they were phubbed, these participants reported feeling more depressed, experiencing lower self-esteem more resentment toward their partners. Those who felt snubbed also often reached for their own phones in response for support and validation from others online.
Meanwhile, people with high attachment avoidance were less likely to confront their partners about phone use. When they did retaliate by using their own devices to seek approval from others rather than connection.
"It might seem trivial, but in relationships these small moments can mount up, creating a sense that your partner's attention is elsewhere and that you're less valued," study co-author Dr. Claire Hart explained.
Dr. Hart added that these phubbing patterns can create 'cycles of conflict and withdrawal' in relationships.
Similarly, co-author Dr. Kathy Carnelley noted that while grabbing your own phone for comfort might provide 'immediate comfort,' it often leads to 'a downward spiral of poor interactions' between partners.
The good news is that couples don't have to resign themselves to phone-infused relationships.
"Creating phone-free zones at mealtimes or before bed and discussing phone boundaries openly can help both partners feel respected," Dr. Hart said. "If you must check your phone, acknowledge the interruption, explain why and return your attention quickly."
